Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Cyber Satire at the Black Sedan

I recently met with an informed source in the intelligence community who only comments on condition of anonymity. Actually, he is substantially less informed than anonymous. Nonetheless, we rendezvoused for drinks at our familiar haunt, the Black Sedan, well known to locals as the BS.

Whadda ya got for me?” I asked as he gulped a draught.

The director was a womanizer,” he replied, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

Everybody from Taos to Tehran knows that. Nobody cares about the real reasons he was canned, much less the cover story.”

Oh, you'd care,” he persisted as he waved his then empty mug at a waitress.


The Aviary.”

"Oh, yeah," I sighed, “them. What have they done now? Infiltrated an assisted living facility?”

One of them got the generals in all this mess. It's big, man.”

Big, huh?”

Yup. It goes all the way to the top. It started with some online stuff.”

What kind of stuff?”

They wanted to know what all those UFO people were doing and talking about, you know, among themselves, so one of the Aviary went undercover.”

Which one?”

The Buzzard.”

Of course.”

He joined one of those UFO message boards... started making posts and exchanging private messages and all.”

What did he find out?”

That some of those people are pretty wild.”

It must have taken lots of experience and expertise to figure that out.”

My source paused to guzzle some more beer to calm his nerves, took a cautious look around, then continued, “And some of them can drum up some freakin' messages that would make the world's top spy hit 'reply.'”

Huh... that actually is kinda interesting.”

That's what the Buzzard said. And so did the Dodo when he found out. Next thing ya know, the whole Agency was on UFO message boards. Everybody. It was off the hook.”

I'll be damned.”

It was the beginning of the end when the Secret Service found out.”

They wanted to investigate?”

Nah... but we couldn't keep 'em off their Iphones. Every agent and their SO were doin' the time warp online. Heads started rolling when those Bureau killjoys got the news. I heard some of the brass wouldn't have been outed if they had been more careful about not using their own PCs and mobiles and stuff.”

Where does it end?”

Hard to say. Used to be you could put a guy in charge of a bunch of spooks or have him head up a good barn burner in the Middle East, and that would entertain him a while - but times have changed. Could I borrow your laptop a sec?”

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